Teen catfished:  A cautionary tale

A 19-year-old university student from South Africa, Tom Harris (name changed to protect his identity), is urging teens to be more cautious when it comes to social media scams.

After being scammed last year, he says “more and more of my friends are being catfished.”  He claims teens know what to look out for, but they are still getting caught out by unscrupulous scammers whose modus operandi gets more sophisticated with every new scam.

Harris found himself caught in a dangerous web of catfishing and blackmail after he met a girl named “Chloe” on Instagram. What began as seemingly innocent messaging soon spiralled into a nightmare when Chloe, who had convinced Tom to share intimate photos, threatened to expose him unless he paid her a fee. 

Harris was a second-year student at the University of Johannesburg in South Africa when he met Chloe in July 2023 on Instagram.  She followed his account, and he followed back.  He said she looked “legit” with lots of photos and a decent number of followers.  Tom says teenagers are generally quite clued up on what to look out for when it comes to fake accounts.    

Their online connection grew quickly as they discovered shared interests in sport and college life. They soon switched communications over to Snapchat.

Chloe, who claimed to be a student from California, appeared to be the perfect match for Tom. She was friendly, engaging, and seemed to understand him.

“We really clicked,” Harris said. “We had so much in common. I felt like we could talk about anything.”

Over the next few weeks, their conversations became more personal, and they exchanged intimate photos. Tom, feeling comfortable and trusting Chloe, never suspected that their relationship was anything other than genuine. But soon after, Chloe’s tone changed, and she began threatening to expose Tom’s private pictures unless he paid her money.

He realised he’d likely been catfished.  

Catfishing is the act of creating a fake identity online to deceive or manipulate someone, often for personal gain or emotional harm.  

It’s fair to assume that Chloe doesn’t even exist, based on how catfishing works.  The perpetrator will assume a made-up identity that would attract their victim.  They research their prey and customise their online presence (with pictures often stolen off the internet or social media platforms) to lure their victims.  They buy their followers, so their social media accounts look real, and even connect with the victim’s followers to create mutual connections.  They are experts at deception. 

In August 2023, Chloe demanded $50 (roughly R900) from Harris, threatening to send his intimate photos to his friends and family if he didn’t comply. Overcome with fear, Harris asked his mom for help.  After he explained what had happened, his mom agreed to pay the fee, hoping the nightmare would end.  The transaction was facilitated by Paypal.

“I was terrified,” Harris recalled. “She said she’d post my pictures everywhere, send them to my friends, my family… I thought paying her would make it stop. But that wasn’t the case.”

After paying the money, Chloe continued to pressure Harris. She didn’t stop sending messages, and her threats grew even more intense. This left Harris feeling helpless and uncertain about what to do next.  She demanded a second payment of $50 which they reluctantly paid.

His mother, concerned about the escalating situation realised they were out of their depth.  She contacted www.thedigitallawco.com

and spoke to lawyer Emma Sadlier, South Africa’s leading expert on social media law. Sadlier, advised them to stop all communication with Chloe immediately, deactivate all social media accounts, and refrain from responding to any further messages.

“Emma told us that we couldn’t keep engaging with her,” Tom’s mom said. “She said to cut ties completely, block her, and get off social media for a while. At first, Tom was unsure, but he trusted the advice.”

Tom deactivated his social media accounts, blocking Chloe on all platforms. He ceased all communication with her, and as a result, Chloe was no longer able to reach him or continue with her threats.

“I was still a bit scared, but I followed the advice, and that’s when everything stopped,” Tom explained. “I never heard from her again. Maybe deactivating my social media accounts made her give up.”

Although Chloe never followed through with her threats and didn’t post Harris’ private images, the ordeal left him shaken. Harris believes that his decision to disconnect completely from social media and stop responding to Chloe played a key role in bringing an end to the blackmail.

“Honestly, I thought I was going to be exposed. I thought she would send the photos out. But it didn’t happen,” Harris said. “Maybe it’s because I blocked her and shut everything down. I don’t know for sure, but I’m relieved it’s over.”

Experts agree that the best way to handle situations like Harris’ is to cease communication with the extortionist and take control of one’s digital presence. Sadlier notes that paying an extortionist only fuels the situation and encourages further demands. The best course of action, she says, is to block the perpetrator, gather evidence, and, if necessary, report the incident to the authorities.

Giving in to extortion doesn’t guarantee safety—it only invites more exploitation. The key is to disengage and remove the criminal’s ability to contact you. Harris did the right thing by cutting off all communication and deactivating his accounts.

While Harris did not report the incident to the police, enlisting the help of his mom and following the expert advice they were given, helped him regain control of the situation. He now shares his story as a cautionary tale, warning others about the dangers of online relationships and the risks associated with sharing personal and intimate information.

“I never thought something like this could happen to me,” Harris admitted. “It was just supposed to be a harmless conversation, but it turned into something much more serious. If you ever feel uncomfortable or someone starts demanding things from you, reach out for help.”

Harris’ experience is a powerful reminder of the growing risks that young people face online, especially when engaging with strangers. While Chloe’s identity remains a mystery, Harris is grateful that he was able to stop the blackmail before it spiralled any further.

With the support of his parents and expert guidance from Sadlier, he has learned valuable lessons about digital safety, and he encourages others to be cautious about the information they share online.